Desolate Carnage
 
Asian People Do Clearly Have Souls
Archived | Views: 1968 | Replies: 19 | Started 14 years, 3 months ago
 
#745667 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:02
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Asians are the worst of all adoptees (for reference we will call them Children of the Mist). This is plainly and simply due to the fact that asians do clearly have souls. South Park had it half right, stating that "Japanese people don't have souls," however they neglected to see that this complete soulessness encompasses the entire asian community. In other words, if you know an asian, don't talk about religion or god and definitely don't let them near your cat or dog. To continue, when an asian person is adopted, their soulessness and the lack of love around them brings them to the epitome of despair. This then gives them the ability to take others souls. These souls are stricken from various people who mistakenly make eye contact. This can be difficult to avoid on account of the general difficult of knowing when an asian is looking at you, as they most likely appear to be squinting. When an asian makes a successful soul steal, a '+1' is displayed above their head and the soul is then transferred to their soul satchel. If you view this sudden apparition of text, it can then be assumed that you or someone around you no longer has a soul. According to the professionals:
"The females are often confused with the common succubus, and likewise the males can be mistaken for incubi. However, they are distinguished by their misplaced (or nonfunctional) genitalia, as well as a strong tendency towards autoerotica. Also, the "children of the mist" can be positively identified by their negative-colored reflections, unsightly arm wrinkles and flab, as well as the appearance of "blue-eye" in photographs of them. Thirdly, photographs of them will come to life a la Harry Potter."
—Dr. A.Flynn of the Institute of Inhuman Asians

What To Do If You Encounter a Child o' The Mist
1) Attempt to execute the "secret handshake". if they dont begin to liquefy, proceed to phase 2
2) Cover your eyes with sand to keep from crying out your soul. if you feel the crushing weight of emptiness weighing down upon you, proceed to phase 3
3) Get eaten by a grue.
4) ???
5) Profit!!!
 
#745669 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:23
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too long
 
#745670 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:28
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didnt read
 
#745672 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:27:00
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Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:23)
too long

Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:28)
didnt read


 
#745673 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:27:43
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i dont like you cuz you dont like asians
 
#745674 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:28:03
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Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:27:43)
i dont like you cuz you dont like asians


do you?
 
#745675 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:28:07
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if you didn't get eaten by a grue then you don't know shit about vidya
 
#745676 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:38:43
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Quote (blackjack21 @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 12:28:03)
Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:27:43)
i dont like you cuz you dont like asians


do you?


same
 
#745680 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:45:34
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Quote (M_A_T_T @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:27:00)
Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:23)
too long

Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:28)
didnt read


 
#745681 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:51:58
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I'm clearly reading this, the length of it and title alone screams copy/paste and old
 
#745711 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 17:43:38
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Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 15:27:43)
i dont like you cuz you dont like asians


 
#745715 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 17:56:44
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please explain
 
#745722 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 19:34:32
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They are from the same planet as cats
 
#745726 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 19:44:04
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Quote (StQ @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:34:32)
They are from the same planet as cats


Does that mean Asian Pussy is really Pussy Pussy?

Whoa.... when you think about it, you'll shit yum yum sauce.
 
#745729 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 19:53:30
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Quote (sardoniclysane @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 19:44:04)
Quote (StQ @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:34:32)
They are from the same planet as cats


Does that mean Asian Pussy is really Pussy Pussy?

Whoa.... when you think about it, you'll shit yum yum sauce.


LOL
 
#745730 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:01:31
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Quote (7_Deadly_Sins @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 17:53:30)
Quote (sardoniclysane @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 19:44:04)
Quote (StQ @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:34:32)
They are from the same planet as cats


Does that mean Asian Pussy is really Pussy Pussy?

Whoa.... when you think about it, you'll shit yum yum sauce.


LOL


 
#745742 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 21:17:24
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Quote (Vogan @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 15:45:34)
Quote (M_A_T_T @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:27:00)
Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:23)
too long

Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:28)
didnt read


 
#745748 | Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 22:18:42
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Quote (Du$tin @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 22:17:24)
Quote (Vogan @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 15:45:34)
Quote (M_A_T_T @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:27:00)
Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:23)
too long

Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:28)
didnt read


 
#745793 | Thu - Sep 2 2010 - 01:34:51
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Quote (smoked @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 22:18:42)
Quote (Du$tin @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 22:17:24)
Quote (Vogan @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 15:45:34)
Quote (M_A_T_T @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:27:00)
Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:23)
too long

Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:28)
didnt read


 
#745831 | Thu - Sep 2 2010 - 09:48:28
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Quote (7_Deadly_Sins @ Thu - Sep 2 2010 - 01:34:51)
Quote (smoked @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 22:18:42)
Quote (Du$tin @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 22:17:24)
Quote (Vogan @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 15:45:34)
Quote (M_A_T_T @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 20:27:00)
Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:23)
too long

Quote (randomtask @ Wed - Sep 1 2010 - 14:25:28)
didnt read


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