You're fucking stupid.
CODE
General Help
http://forums.d2jsp.org/index.php?showtopic=3668614&f=34
The above link is a guide rounded up by ImmortalCheese and is very helpful.
How to get a GIANT POOP ON MY FACE
I still see people asking around how to get a GIANT POOP ON MY FACE. Here's a step-by-step guide:
1. First of all, you have to prepare a list of some people. Which ones to pick? Proceed to step 2.
2. Go to 'Diablo Discussion and Guides' forum.
3. Note which users have a lot to say there. Pick the ones with shiny sigs and avatars in the same theme. Go to their profiles. See which have stuff like 'I like to help new users on jsp, medi trades, xfer, perm blah blah blah' and also 'you can PM me if you need anything' in the My Interests field. The ones with stuff like that are the people you're looking for.
4. Just to make sure, these are the ones, go to 'General Chat' forum and check which create bolded/redded topics saying 'Omg Gz To IceBullet87 For Getting Mem++/You So Deserved It Man!111. Well, these are for sure your people [to make things clearer I'll give some examples: DaChieff (not so long ago) or ALT-TAB (presently). We will base on their profiles for the need of the guide].
5. Jot down some info on these people (use Excel for that), such as:
1. Their current Trade Rank.
2. Their current Member Group.
3. Their dates of birthday.
6. You've got to keep your list updated in order to be ready when something happenes.
7. Constantly check if any of these people have birthday or get a GIANT POOP ON MY FACE or get Members++ or stuff like that. When:
1. They have birthday - you got to the 'General Chat' forum and post a 10fg-worth-of-topic saying: 'Omgz Happy Birthdayz 2 Alt-Tab / Omg Man!1111'.
2. They get a Trusted/Mediator/Members++ - you also go to the 'General Chat' forum and post a 10fg-worth-of-topic saying: 'Omgz Congratz To DaChieff For Gettin' Trusted/Medi/Mem++!1111 / You So Deserved It Mate Omgzors!11111'.
8. As you can see, these topics cost a bunch. So you need to have some packs of 10fg ready to spare. You never know who will get a Trusted or just have a birthday.
9. Also be sure to check each thread in:
1. 'Diablo Discussion and Guides' forum - answer to each one, no matter what the answer would be.
2. 'Say Hi' forum - spam there constantly, but not more often than 5 Hi's every single day.
3. 'General Chat' forum - follow the 'Happy Birthday' and 'Congratz' threads. Answer to each one making your post the most suck-uppy you possibly can.
10. You need to check every so and then the 'Battle Floor' forum to see if anybody is offending Njaguar or BeerMan or anybody else. Of course defend every single one of them along the lines: 'please explain u fuckin' nub, vendetta ownz ur ass any day fuckin nub!11111'.
11. Also check if DaBeerMan or any other mod has some witty remarks to share in the same forum. Answer to each one along the lines: 'omfg wtf lol nub pwnt by Dad (verbalizzly) !1111111111'.
12. Do this sort of posting for about a month.
13. Now the important part - your profile:
1. Signature & Avatar - make sure you've got one of those fancy sigs and avatars matching each other, with your name hopefully glittering and shit like that.
2. Signature - below the super cool picture you need to have links to any sort of rules (for instance: Forum Rules) as well as a link to respect people (for instance: Trusted & Donors in profile).
3. In Profile - here apart from the lines like 'I like to help people: xfer, medi, give out friendly advices and free blowjobs' you need to have a 'Respect To' list. Apart from randoms you must put there any 3 of the following: Neo, Dad, Decadence, Njaguar, DaBeerMan, Glimjaur, Vendetta and so on. 3 is the Required Minimum, you may want to put more.
14. After about a month or so, when you feel your e-reputation of being a huge suck-up is huge enough, you:
1. Go to the 'Battle Floor' forum (this may seem weird, but that's really what is to be done) and post a poll saying 'Hey Guyz What Ya Reelly Thinck' Of Meh? Seeryesly!111'. Once you're done with that, you don't have to check the thread and read the replies because it doesn't really matter.
2. And second part to be done. You make a huge donation to Wappathia/Neo/Vendetta/Decadence/Dad/DaBeerMan. Any one of them.
15. Now for the final part: you make a donation to d2jsp, so that you get a kickass-looking star next to your name and Njaguar can buy himself a loaf of bread every week.
That's basically how it's done. Aj, make this guide a fucking sticky.
