Quote (Sgull @ Nov 21 2008 - 23:14:46)
sorc101
Ok so it was my birthday thursday and i hadnt done anything yet.
Thursday i figured ok everyones workin tomorrow fuck it ill jus celebrate Friday.
So Friday rolls along and I'm thinking strippers.
I play cards at 7 and get stoned to shit don't leave there till 10, then im thinkin ok 10 is too early, lets head to the city at 12.
So I stop by my friend's crib and I get stoned to shit there chillin with a couple of girls and now its too and im like oh shit aint worth it to see strippers for an hr.
Plus I was fucked up for 7 hrs and I said ok fuck it, we'll go Saturday.
So Saturday rolls along and I'm thinking strippers (AGAIN).
So everyone starts flaking out/falling asleep and I'm like wtf fuck these niggers I got the wood and I'm ready to spend it.
Only 1 of my friends wants to go. Which is fucking ridiculous for starters.
Ok so he lives in queens and i gotta take the belt to the jackie to his crib.
I get off the wrong exit cuz he wasn't pickin up his phone, whatever, I hang a left, I'm goin, still tryin to call him, figure out where the fuck I am cuz I don't know queens too well.
BAM! HUMONGOUS POT HOLE. I pull over where there's 7 other cars lined up and I'm like omfg this is bad. They ALL HAVE FLATS!
I check my tire, it feels low on air but doesnt seem like anything is wrong so I consider myself lucky and get back in the car and keep drivin to where this kid lives.
I pick him up and we go to the strip club in the city. The wheel's a bit shaky the whole way there so I thought maybe that pothole fucked up my alignment.
Ok so I'm in a semi-bad mood, clearly really cuz fuck it, I got the woooooooood. And its stripper time!
(LOL, i havnt been to one since my birthday too years ago, and even that was with a girlfriend at the time so now it was like, let's go i feel like 21 again!)
Ok so I'm at the strip club, I blow about 40 in jus drinks for starters.
Then I get this table, smack dead center, a group of like 6 guys all got up and once and i was like sa-weeet, snuck up in there and grabbed the finest seat.
Front staaa-aage, let's go! (lol)
Ok so bam, I got 40 singles in my pocket and i line 10 up along the deck with my beer.
The strippers see the singles and they start waddling over doin their thing, shakin their asses, feelin me up, shovin their tits in my face, anything to get the dollars.
Strippers are a lovely thing. You can just escape from all the BULLSHIT and have tits thrown in your face and be like yea, that's right, earn that dollar (LMAO)
Shit. Did that make me sound like a pig? Eh..fuck it, all men are pigs SOME TIMES!!
So i hooked up with a fine asian cuz I still got the fever from my last xgf.
Bam, she's a poker player that plays at the borgata, but isn't that good, so she plays 1-too (thanks for the tit slap while you tell me your story miss)
I blew 100 bux on a massage, 40 on her and 40 on drinks, wasn't even alot now that I think about it...200 bux for a good time.
That's about what I woulda spent anyway at a club with a bottle.
Ok so I think it's clear sailing. It's 4 am, the place is closing, I head back to the car. I cut someone off earlier to get an ill spot 3 blocks away from the place on broadway.
(Anyone that lives in the city knows that's a fuckin GOOD PARKING SPOT if you're that close to where you wanna go)
Ahrite, so I take out the bag of weed and i start breaking it up and tell my friend to get the phillie ready.
He starts rollin, I'm like ok let's roll out. I start the car, start driving and I hear a loud sound as I'm driving. Wtf is that? Omg, I smell rubber now.
Dude I'm fucking drunk and I wanna blaze, wtf is that smell of rubber? Check the tire on your side. Omg, it's the tire. Wtf dude.
I drove from Broadway and 55th to 11th and 39th or some shit, to a gas station where I THOUGHT i could fill the tire with air.
That was a sad thought, because THE ENTIRE TIRE IS SLASHED! You couldn't fill that tire with shit if you wanted to it was so cut wide open.
So now I'm like starin at the No Parking 6am-8am M-F sign and I'm thinkin wtf, I have to leave the car here cuz I don't have a spare or a jack.
But then I'm like let's go to the fuckin guy at this gas station and ask him for help and see if he knows anything.
Bingo. Dude says there's a fuckin 24 hr tire shop 3 blocks away. Wow I'm lucky huh? How often does THAT happen?? LOL.
I drive that car on 3 tires to the shop and they start to work on it. I take the blunt and me and my boy go all the way down a bunch of bricks while they work on the tire;
To an empty lot and after I take a piss on some car, I realize there are 3 portapottys like right there and I'm pissing outside anyway, that's fuckin funny.
So yea anyway, we smoke the blunt, half of it and clip it, go back to the car and the guy is testing the new tire and it's fucked cuz my entire rim got fucked.
All from that fucking pothole from however many hours ago on the way to his house. And it's right on the valve so air is leaking out.
That sucks, cuz now i have to replace the entire rim. Haha. Good thing I didn't buy new rims.
So now i got a fuckin black rim with a used tire as opposed to a stock silver rim with a 169$ tire.
That blows. At least I had tits in my face. And all the while home, I'm happy that it only cost 80$ cuz the wheel don't shake no more and I was like let's gooooo stripperssssss and flat tiressss kiddddd.
And that's how my 28th birthday was celebrated. Haha. One to remember.
