So long story short

I have a friend named Aimee who i've known basically since I was born. She's my sister, we grew up in the same Apt. building, smoked mad weed together when we started getting into that shit, etc etc. Now we have a close knit group of friends that live in Brooklyn, who's names aren't really vital to this story. Anyway, one of these friends brought over a kid named "Pesky" this one time (they worked at the same establishment). Now Pesky is a hypebeast (for those of you unfamiliar with the term, we'll just call a hypebeast a consumer whore who purchases a lot of Nike products), most of his money goes towards copious amounts of incredibly shitty weed (known as Regs to all you non smokers) and gay looking sneakers.

Now this kid, "Pesky" -- has shacked up with my friend Aimee and they've been going out for almost a year. The relationship is codependent, seeing as Pesky made her cut all ties with her friends (us) and keeps her sedated with his shitty ass weed. Now the thing to understand about Pesky is that he has no college ambition, no job prospect -- basically he's a freeloading faggot. He currently lives out of Aimees room (in her mothers house) with Aimee because he was evicted from his own place. There were rumored threats of deportation against the faggot unless he found a job (which i heard he did), but then it seems he got fired from that establishment as well.

ANYWAY, this guy seems to think that I have some sort of intimate infatuation with my best friend (Aimee) and feels incredibly threatened by it. Now, keep in mind that Aimee and I have lived in the same Apt. Building for more than 18 years together, and we still continue to live there (the exception being me away at college).

I received this nice little message in my inbox this morning:

Faggot:

"Listen man, You are crossing lines son, my girl asked you not to call her anymore, then you go an call her at 1:30 in the morning AGAIN, son, i know you are obsessed with us, and cant stand that I am with the girl you secretly love, But on the real, you look pathetic.
For you to go spreading our life to people, are you that bored? That you live all the way out there and still need to talk about me and Aimee to people here? GET A LIFE! and if you got a problem with this, man your self up and MOVE ON!
Cause next time you cross the line, who knows where it will end up. DO NOT COME TO HER HOUSE! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE!
DO NOT CALL HER!
DONT EVEN WAVE AT HER IF YOU SEE HER ON THE STREET!
Son, YOU are NOT in our life, so keep it out of your mouth.
Learn to live with the facts guy. And tell your loser friends to stop talking about us as well, you guys have NOTHING better to do than talk about us. I get you miss her, but she made her choice, and it wasn't YOU! so let it end here. I have said nothing to you till now, and let it be the last time i have to. And dont be a bitch and go call her crying, she read this before i sent it."

So i told him that i'd see him in november and break his legs.







tl;dr version: faggot boyfriend alienated best friend, sent stupid letter, getting legs broken in month.

make him craiii

Ask her if she really read that before he sent it. If she didn't, which I would be willing to bet on, I'd forward it to her.

IMHO it does not look like you made a long story short so to make my long story short: tl;dr

wall of text, didnt even read the first word

i did manage to read the massive ANYWAY though

Like best friend task I read the ANYWAY
Unlike best friend task I at least attempted to read it.

However, upon realizing your black lingo with the usage of mad weed I stopped and realized further reading would only piss me off. So I'll stop here and keep the love we have.

theres a tl;dr at the bottom

This post has been edited by seth on Fri - Oct 30 2009 - 10:47:51

You sure? I can't see anything under the ANYWAY

ass!

Oh I see it now...


I see there is some leg breaking involved. If you need an oversized pipe wrench to make that easier I can assist

She's too fucking dumb at this point in her life. I did tell her and she said don't talk to her about it.



Thx m8, i'll treat you to a hennepin after its over.

This post has been edited by seth on Fri - Oct 30 2009 - 10:51:16

When you say inbox, are you referring to an email, snail mail, or voice mail

Depending on which it is increases the LOL factor

thats not short at all

email

I would forward the email to your best friend and see wat she says

I think I'd rather go for their seasonal stout I haven't tried...
I'm not a fan of Hennepin (or any farmhouse ales really)

may as well just rape her at this point
i mean, you ARE a black man

dick

is just and fair


And let's not kid ourselves, the fucker has a point

im assuming pesky a latino of some sort from the deportation threats

is this correct

your inductive reasoning skills are astounding

SON

i studied hard for the tests, duh

ilu

Yeah, hes cuban or some garbage.

Just get his ass deported.

Pics of him when you break his legs though.

empty threats are

He decided to respond to the "See you in november" comment i made:

"Ok, your call short stuff. But keep talking about my living situation, when everyone knows yours and why you lie about everything. You do know every person you know thinks of you as one of the biggest lies ever spoken right? which is ironic, once you take into account your stature issue. If you think i'd hit someone the size of my 9 year old nephew, you are less smarter than i thought.
I can promise you I wont lay a finger on you, and it will STILL not end well for you. PROMISE! Now go think of more lies to tell everyone when you come down in november. Quick."

I stand by my comment to forward said emails to your best friend.

lol, that was my favorite part.
My best friend is dating a real loser of a guy too...shit sucks.Good luck with the situation dude.