Desolate Carnage
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Marriage Counseling 101 Featuring Ur Pal Bacon, I'm looking at you Charlie
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#642106 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 15:41:12
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The first biblical fight in the stakem house. TL;DR to follow.

We have all seen it and probably at one time laughed and mocked the people who fall victim to the holidays and companies who thrive on taking advantage of people's generosity and humanity during the holiday season. It's really one fucking evil plot and many organizations thrive on this shit during this time of the year. You might have even seen it today going by a grocery store and there is some ass ringing a bell asking for handouts for someone/something in need.

Well guess what assholes, I am not a complete insensitive asshole because I don't throw a few bucks your way. In fact I am a bigger piece of shit because I get angered by your mere presence. People are in need every day of the week, not just during the holiday season when you think you are humble and a humanitarian because you are going to donate some of your free time to a just cause. You just feed on the feeble minded who feel bad for enjoying themselves all year round. What better fucking time to catch people off guard than when they just came walking out of a store spending hundreds of dollars on shit they are giving away to unappreciative relatives who quite frankly don't give a fuck about you but mutually feel obligated to spend money on you so they in turn don't look like a dick. AH yes, I love the fucking holidays!!

Resetting focus: prime fucking example of good intensions gone fucking horrid. SECA is the state employee combined appeal. Motto is: "care enough to share." with ties to umbrella organizations that collect charitable contributions to improve the lquality of life for all people. Yes folks read that statement again because they are telling you flat out: "all people" which includes the percentge of proceeds that go back to the chairmen's pocket and not actually the people in need. SURE! I'll donate a hundred bucks only to have 20% of it go to administrative costs, 20% growth and advertisement costs, and 30% for poop party celebration for funds raised. That mean that for every dollar given, only 30 cents goes to the people actually in need. Fucking awesome, one of the biggest scams ever yet it's sanctioned by the state and your a bastard if you don't partiipate.

So on to the real highlight of the story. My wife gets an email forward chain mail. TIS THE SEASON TO LOVE AN ANIMAL IN NEED! Save an animal at the SPCA by taking it home and loving it in it's time of need. In the spirit of the giving season you can take home a pet at no cost to you (they provide the food and full vaccination for a period of 2 weeks) you just provide a home full of love. and can give them back with no obligations...AHHH isn't that nice?!?!?!?!!!!! Pets need to feel loved at Christmas time! They honestly don't give a shit the rest of the year, but its hard for them emotionally this time of the year because they can sense the obligatory birth of Christ and need a loving home to celebrate.

She wants another dog, I said no... The fight continues

 
#642107 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 15:44:18
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first
 
#642108 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 15:45:12
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LOL
 
#642110 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 15:50:35
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sharing is caring

have a kid instead
 
#642111 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 15:51:54
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dogs are worthless
if you want a pet, get a cat

if you want to have to take care of something, have a kid
 
#642112 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 15:56:54
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Quote (___ @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 15:50:35)
sharing is caring

have a kid instead


Holy fuck...
 
#642115 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 15:59:05
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Quote (___ @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 13:50:35)
sharing is caring

have a kid instead


 
#642117 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:00:00
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Quote (xstakemx @ Dec 9 2009 11:38am)
Sounds to me like this individual is displaying her dominance over you. Sometimes when professional animal trainers run into these kinda circumstances they are left with no choice but to hold the animal down and piss on them to show them who is the real boss. There is only one thing left to do, become king of the hill and one up her.




If she smiles while you pee on her, there may be a bigger issue here than expected.


This post has been edited by blind_chief on Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:02:17
 
#642118 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:00:06
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ilu
 
#642121 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:02:08
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This poop has been edited by blind_chief on Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 14:02:17

This post has been edited by blind_chief on Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:02:24
 
#642122 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:02:20
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Guess it's time to put my own advice to work
 
#642123 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:02:33
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Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 14:02:08)
This poop has been edited by blind_chief on Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 14:02:17


This poop has been edited by blind_chief on Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 14:02:24
 
#642124 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:02:59
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Quote (xstakemx @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 14:02:20)
Guess it's time to put my own advice to work


i hope you knew i was just waiting for an opportunity to use this
 
#642126 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:03:16
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i never figured it would only take a couple of hours
 
#642127 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:04:17
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sry tl;dr
 
#642132 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:08:04
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i looked up some words like Christ and ANIMAL from that aggressive fence of text
 
#642133 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:10:20
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Quote (Sgull @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 21:51:54)
dogs are worthless
if you want a pet, get a cat

if you want to have to take care of something, have a kid


im a huge faggot cats are stupid!
 
#642135 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:13:08
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Quote (Sgull @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 21:51:54)
dogs are worthless
if you want a pet, get a cat

if you want to have to take care of something, have a kid


wow! i would never say that you are cat person
 
#642138 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:17:43
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Go find a homeless black kid like Michael Oher and turn him into a NFL Football Player and rake in the millions.
 
#642140 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:27:05
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irony = adam will have a second dog within 2 months

a. he caves now
b. she makes him feel so guilty about his refusal that another dog is brought home so she stops talking about it
 
#642141 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:39:14
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the game
you just lost it
 
#642143 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:48:22
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Quote (sir_lance_bb @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 17:17:43)
Go find a homeless black kid like Michael Oher and turn him into a NFL Football Player and rake in the millions.


lol
 
#642146 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:53:22
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Offer doggy-style instead. Would fix some issues here ;)

Nice rant though.
 
#642167 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 17:05:43
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In the pet shelters defense, that is one of the most awesome marketing ploy's I have seen to get animals out of the shelter. Most people who spend 2 weeks getting attached too and caring for an animal will not send it away again. Kudo's to the shelter

And have a kid instead.
 
#642176 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 17:10:48
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rage
 
#642236 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:40:06
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Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 14:27:05)
irony = adam will have a second dog within 2 months

a.  he caves now
b.  she makes him feel so guilty about his refusal that another dog is brought home so she stops talking about it


quoting for truth
 
#642238 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:41:53
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Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:40:06)
Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 14:27:05)
irony = adam will have a second dog within 2 months weeks

a.  he caves now
b.  she makes him feel so guilty about his refusal that another dog is brought home so she stops talking about it


quoting for truth


if your gonna quote for truth at least make it accurate
 
#642239 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:44:53
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As an unsaid law in any marriage, there needs to be a give and a take.

She gives me unrelenting amounts of cry baby attitude, I take her to the fucking SPCA.
She gives me the sad puppy face while we are there, I take another damn animal other than her home.
She gives me thank you sex, I take my time crying in the corner cuz I have no status in this relationship.
 
#642241 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:48:50
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lol
tell me you caved same day
PLIZ
 
#642243 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:55:18
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Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:48:50)
lol
tell me you caved same day
PLIZ


 
#642245 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:57:12
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Quote (smoked @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:55:18)
Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:48:50)
lol
tell me you caved same day
PLIZ


no

but in a way

yes
 
#642246 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 18:57:35
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I agreed to "going to look"



yeah, basically fucking caved first day fail
 
#642248 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:00:58
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pussy
 
#642249 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:03:00
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what a sweetheart
 
#642257 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:15:00
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Quote (bubbachunk @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:00:58)
pussy


ft5 irl nnp
 
#642259 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:15:58
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Quote (xstakemx @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:15:00)
Quote (bubbachunk @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:00:58)
pussy


ft5 irl nnp


what kind of dumbass takes 5 levels in fighter? Are you going for dungeoncrasher 8d6 at 6th or something?
 
#642260 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:16:52
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Quote (HCL @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:15:58)
Quote (xstakemx @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:15:00)
Quote (bubbachunk @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 19:00:58)
pussy


ft5 irl nnp


what kind of dumbass takes 5 levels in fighter? Are you going for dungeoncrasher 8d6 at 6th or something?


i dont know what language you are speaking
but i was asking for a duel to the death with no nut punches
 
#642310 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 21:12:02
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Hey man thanks for a good read on the toilet. If you want compromise with her, see how she feels about a pet fish
 
#642320 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 22:00:10
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i heard your getting a toy poodle
 
#642323 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 22:01:37
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Quote (blind_chief @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 16:00:00)
Quote (xstakemx @ Dec 9 2009 11:38am)
Sounds to me like this individual is displaying her dominance over you. Sometimes when professional animal trainers run into these kinda circumstances they are left with no choice but to hold the animal down and piss on them to show them who is the real boss. There is only one thing left to do, become king of the hill and one up her.




If she smiles while you pee on her, there may be a bigger issue here than expected.


Be careful she might get turned on and piss back
 
#642324 | Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 22:02:47
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Quote (smoked @ Wed - Dec 9 2009 - 17:05:43)
In the pet shelters defense, that is one of the most awesome marketing ploy's I have seen to get animals out of the shelter. Most people who spend 2 weeks getting attached too and caring for an animal will not send it away again. Kudo's to the shelter

And have a kid instead.


They had this in a movie last week my wife made me watch
 
#642353 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 00:51:03
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User Image
 
#642408 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 10:55:29
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I like this toilet
 
#642419 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:15:21
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Try to have a kid.

And hope to god you have a boy.

Because with a boy, you only got 1 dick to worry about, With a girl, you have to worry about every dick in the school.
 
#642424 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:17:39
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Quote (sir_lance_bb @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 09:15:21)
Try to have a kid.

And hope to god you have a boy.

Because with a boy, you only got 1 dick to worry about, With a girl, you have to worry about every dick in the school.


 
#642446 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:26:10
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Quote (blind_chief @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:17:39)
Quote (sir_lance_bb @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 09:15:21)
Try to have a kid.

And hope to god you have a boy.

Because with a boy, you only got 1 dick to worry about, With a girl, you have to worry about every dick in the school.


Old jokes are old
 
#642464 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:31:40
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Quote (xstakemx @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:26:10)
Quote (blind_chief @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:17:39)
Quote (sir_lance_bb @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 09:15:21)
Try to have a kid.

And hope to god you have a boy.

Because with a boy, you only got 1 dick to worry about, With a girl, you have to worry about every dick in the school.


Old jokes are old


Truthful Joke.
 
#642472 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:36:06
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Quote (sir_lance_bb @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:31:40)
Quote (xstakemx @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:26:10)
Quote (blind_chief @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:17:39)
Quote (sir_lance_bb @ Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 09:15:21)
Try to have a kid.

And hope to god you have a boy.

Because with a boy, you only got 1 dick to worry about, With a girl, you have to worry about every dick in the school.


Old jokes are old


Truthful Joke.


Pretty sure if i have a girl it will be the biggest hillbilly butch dike on useast. She will be able to field dress a dear and fillet trout before she knows how to put makeup on.
 
#642473 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:46:08
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Going 2
 
#642474 | Thu - Dec 10 2009 - 11:46:14
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Going 2
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