1-27-10
The Ideal Poo for Power Generation.
As we attempt to confront our addiction to oil, some have advocated burning human and animal dung as alternative energy sources. While the ideal poo is often described as soft and moist, it is the constipated, rock-hard stool that is most useful for energy production. Desiccated poo is more efficient because of its lower water content, thereby decreasing the energy needed to extract water prior to its combustion.

1-26-10
The Life Raft.
The Life Raft is the process of folding up toilet paper before sitting down to do your business and placing it in the toilet bowl. The paper then catches the poop as it hits the toilet water. The result is the trifecta: no noise, no splash, and no skidmarks. This practice is particularly popular in workplace ladies' rooms.

Synonyms: The Safety Net, Trifecta

1-25-10
Forgot this and threw out already

1-23/24-10
Poo-Phoria - Can you O.D. (Over Doodie)
The stool "high" that contributes to the feeling of Poo-phoria is relatively safe, but can become an addiction for those who can willfully reproduce the sensation. The distention of the rectum that occurs with the passing of a large mass of stool causes the vagus nerve to fire. The net effect of this is a drop in your heart rate and blood pressure, which in turn decreases blood flow to the brain. When mild, the light-headedness can lend a sense of sublime relaxation ("the high"). A more significant drop in brain perfusion can cause "defecation syncope," a dangerous syndrome that results in a transient loss of consciousness (the O.D.).

1-22-10
The Escape Artist.

Sometimes you have to fart but just aren't in the position to let one rip. Whether you find yourself in an important meeting, on a date, or in the close confines of an elevator, there are times when you need to fight back nature and hold it in. Although sometimes leading to discomfort, usually the need to pass gas will temporarily subside if you clench your sphincter as tight as you can. Occasionally, despite your best efforts, flatulence can slip through the cracks. When this occurs, pray for it to be silent and odorless or else be prepared to deny, deny, deny.

1-21-10
Upper Decker.
Also referred to as "Going up Top," an Upper Decker occurs when someone removes the lid from the back tank of the toilet and defecates in it. When finished, the fecal freedom fighter will wipe up and hide the used toilet paper so a flush is unnecessary. Then, when the toilet is flushed by the next user, the bowl will be rinsed with feces. A firm stool will cause repeated minor fecal rinsing, while a viscous, soupy stool will flush out all at once. While no scientific study can prove this with certainty, people who perform Upper Deckers may suffer disproportionately from GI issues later in life.

This post has been edited by smoked on Wed - Jan 27 2010 - 06:54:31

wheres bruce when you need him?

i actually lol'd reading this

fecal freedom fighter here

Double Decker;

go in the bowl + septic tank

Im debating making a daily toilet with whatever my calender says no matter its funny factor but donno

The Escape Artist.

Sometimes you have to fart but just aren't in the position to let one rip. Whether you find yourself in an important meeting, on a date, or in the close confines of an elevator, there are times when you need to fight back nature and hold it in. Although sometimes leading to discomfort, usually the need to pass gas will temporarily subside if you clench your sphincter as tight as you can. Occasionally, despite your best efforts, flatulence can slip through the cracks. When this occurs, pray for it to be silent and odorless or else be prepared to deny, deny, deny.

weekend bump added to first poop

tuesday bump