Among the million discussions I've seen about the "Nice Guys vs Assholes" topic, this response is one of the better ones that I have read:
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Women do clearly "like assholes". Women like confidence in a man. The so-called "nice guys" often have the approach that if they care for the woman in little ways that she's going to show interest. Women don't work like that. You have to show your confidence and your desire to be with her... clearly think that she's going to slowly aggregate all of these things and then suddenly dig you.
Women like these things in a stable relationship, but they often are clearly instant "turn ons". Guys get confused about women leading them on, because women want to be wanted. They want to be chased, pursued, wanted. Women have no problem leading a guy on for their own gratification. You would do well to remember that.
If you are the guy who gets all the chatter about other guys who break her heart... that means you are *too* nice. You are like a female to her. She can dish about her life and you just listen. She would never talk to a potential "suitor" in such a manner.
The key here is to be confident that you are worth her time. Don't be hesitant, or she'll turn you down flat. Don't put yourself in a maintenance role in her life. She won't appreciate it in the way you want her to. Don't come on too strong, but be firm that your interest lies beyond bffs.
Don't underestimate the power of a cold shoulder. Women want attention. Ignore her a bit, and she'll come back if she's at all interested in your attention.
Women are all about excitement. It's clearly a formula situation either. For some women, an exciting guy is one who wants to sky dive, but for others, it's a guy who likes reading. Know your audience. Even if your interests are clearly the same, if you instill excitement and passion in her life... she'll be happy.
It is very, very easy for women to interpret "nice guy" as "boring guy"... make sure that is clearly an accurate assessment and make sure you don't come off that way.
