legit.

1) grab some buckets, go to the nearest beach, and collect as much oily water as you can.

2) let the water sit in a drum, oil will separate from it after a day or so

3) find some PVC pipe in the meantime, get it as thick as possible. Stuff it with sand, filter the oil through it, to remove the heaviest parts. you can use that as crude fossil fuel, but if you can find some glassware...

4) distill the crude oil, collect fractions as the oil boils from lowest to highest. (look up distillation if you donno how)
collect in the following order:
propane
butane
heptane
hexane
octane (gasoline)
anything heavier you can use for diesel fuel, the dregs in the bottom of your starting oil is garbage, you can use that for tar or asphalt

5) sell all of it, make money, use that money to scale up, keep collecting oil, start a little buisness

guaranteed you will make the news. You have no excuse, especially cuz all you have right now is time....

you will know when to switch fractions if you can find a thermometer. when the temp remains steady in the crude mixture, only one fraction is boiling off. once that temp starts to rise rapidly, switch your fraction.

5 steps too many, here is an easier plan

walk to nearest fast food establishment
confront manger
about need for monies
profit

well looks like step 2 just hosed this opportunity...disregard

lol oil

Seriously evan your idea is beyond dumb.

If mox could distill it sure as fuck wouldn't be oil

oil companies actually do a big distillation column, its clearly too different, they just use higher quality equipment and better separation. its clearly that dumb of an idea in concept. for one person to do it it is impossible tho

Suggesting Nick does the impossible?

Think about that one for a bit and tell me what you come up with.

he would make the news at least

This has got to be the stupidest fucking idea I have ever heard of.

EPOCH

its actually brilliant

It's a good troll, probably one of the only decent ones Evan has done.

if i was you i would try it

Oh, okay.

itt nick earns the title of forum moron on top of forum suicidal, and forum pathetic loser

but then again if i was you i would be in a grad program probably so yea

Oh, okay.

i'd give nick credit for even going out to buy a bucket

baby steps guys

Jp is actually on to something here.

he will turn out to be alright, as long as he doesnt make stupid life mistakes

like majoring in poly sci

seems legit

i lold hard

Oh fuck you.

Oh wait, that wasn't towards my useless Poli Sci education.

Fuck you anyways.

I thought I was going to change the world.

im clearly poking fun at you... you obv are doing alright, arent you?

clearly because of my choice in Major, lol.

I just had to throw the second fuck you in there because you know, bitter still about what I decided was worth 40k education wise.

Someone pay off my student loans so I can go back to school and get a useful degree.

yeah, as much arrogance as i seem to have, i will still end up with of with a mediocre job pay with a chem phd.

I'd go back and get an Aerospace Engineering degree, minor in Astronomy. If nothing else I'd try and land with a contractor for some upcoming missions...manned or unmanned.

I'd make decent money (nothing special, but a lot more than I am now), plus I'd be loving what I do.

id go back to CMU, switch majors to chemical engineering and get the same pay job i will after chem phd without taking 5 years after school. i love the content of both areas so it doesnt matter too much. but really the phd program will be a really fun time i think, because my research will keep me goin every day

you can change the world one person at a time OFC

I can also take a shit one turd at a time.

Nick needs to do this.

Google inspirational quotes. Read as many as you can for about 30 minutes.

For the next 1-2 hours you'll essentially be on a motivational "high". Use it to poop your resume on craigslist.

BABY STEPS.

fucking real jobs do clearly exist on craigs list ffs

clearly important. The creation and initial publication of the resume is what's important here. I can't stress the idea of "baby steps" enough here.