Coworker's wife has been baking cakes and cup cakes for people's weddings, parties, anniversaries, other social gatherings, etc where ever pastries are needed. She is looking into buying an old building and renovating it into a full time passion/production.

Today I got to sample her newest creation of crumbled bacon in a dark chocolate cup cake. The icing was some semi-sweet bitter German chocolate and all together I give it 4/5 slabs of approval.

Areas of improvement:
increased amounts of bacons
increase size of cup cake
decrease sweetness of icing, for semi-sweet it was pretty fucking sweet
increase amount of bacon flavor/saltiness
incorporate stout beer into recipe for less sweetness and more moisture
include cayanne pepper for depth of flavor and overal sexual bacon experience of needing moar

how does a slab of approval compare to a star, thumbs up, or percentage, quantitatively?

ive never mixed pepper with chocolate, clearly sure how i feel about that

4 out of 5

room for improvement but overall pretty good
in the upper 80 percentile of lifetime cup cakes consumed

ok 4/5 is 80%, but how many stars or thumbs up do you need to equal a slab of bacon?

i would say a single slab of bacon is very valuable and getting one is a serious honor. i would rather have a slab of bacon than 50 stars or probably hundreds of thumbs up

When done right spice from cayenne pepper + cocoa = sex in your mouth
many brewers have tried to accomplish this in beer but either under-do it to the point of clearly being noticed or over-do it to the point of immediate heartburn inducing

when someone finally gets it right they will bring home the gold of the beverage industry (in b4 dan mentions great divide chocolate yeti)

trying too hard

why wont you let me feel like im 'involved' in dc

Outside of beer though, chocolate and spice from pepper is a classic pairing

I'm drawing a blank at the moment but their is a certain popular candy maker that really pushes a cayenne chocolate around the holidays

ive never seen it done tbh, but i dont frequent cutting edge pastry shops either.

@Evan
A slab of bacon is > red text or admin. It's something despensurre has been crying about for years. What he doesn't realize is I had to pay Gary with sexual favors and bottles of wine to get top dog up over and out east side gn8 Thursday agenda toilet on a Monday already cuz I roll like that yo yo found a used Dickie cup in mah pocket and a used charlie in mah ass...werd

bacon and chocolate are one of the few things you don't mix bacon with.

Clearly inferior bottom dog mugger hugger wanna be wiener schnitzel

i never put bacon with my bacon and chocolate

most of your adjustments are based up what you want out of a bacon cupcake clearly what the creator was necessarily going for, she was clearly trying to just appease you so get off your god dam high horse

/rage

i dont even like mugs

Alas, your jew schnozzle has led you astray young poopmaster in the wrong.
She exclusively made this cup cake seeking my approval.

was it a free cupcake

why would she be so foolish

It was actually a sixpack of cup cakes and yes free

then quit your goddamn bitching you enjoyed delicious six cupcakes for free

I emailed her this toilet. Hope she looks/joins

Woah who's bitching. Constructive criticism and opinions for improvement are the only things being discussed here grumpy gills

your "areas of improvement" is just a snobby way to express the superiority of your "learned" tastebuds over the common folk. it's pretty bitchy, in a subtle way.

clogged coronary arteries here i come

so basically you want her to turn her cupcakes into bacon flavored beer

beer flavored bacon

gonna need some bacon flavored bacon but hold the bacon

Awe you kids make me so proud

and this toilet has come full circle to beer

full circle implies it went someplace other than right nextdoor in adams brain

do you think when adams wife asks him questions he somehow changes the topic to beer or bacon like he does here?

i have seen it happen

i kinda figured
end result is she just stops talking to adam and he goes outside to be with his beer?

sometimes, or the dog interrupts and gives adam an excuse to leave and take it outside and then beer

Little too much truth going on in this toilet.

I think I share too much with you folks

only truth that needs to be said is that I donno what beer i have waiting @ your place

ill tell you if adam agrees to send it back

Nope

what if you just agree to keep it?

Serious consideration about lying to dan and telling him you sent a quadruple ipa for him because how much he loves hops and hiding that gem in the cellar to be shared at a later date

nick is poor/ failure

Dan, I honestly don't know why would send you this 3% mass produced wheat beer that we can buy at wegmans? I guess it's really something special on the west coast?

What the fuck does that have to do wi...


Fuck I just want to warn you

i thought it was a lager tbh

i h8 and lu all