Desolate Carnage
 
My Favorite Part Of The Kevin Smith Ama
Archived | Views: 1360 | Replies: 22 | Started 12 years, 4 months ago
 
#836718 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 18:18:18
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I'm clearly a munchies-oriented stoner. I've trained myself to want exactly two things while I'm blazing: productivity and sex. When I smoke weed, I either wanna record/cut a bunch of podcasts, create a TV show, write HIT SOMEBODY, read and respond on Twitter (@ThatKevinSmith)... or fuck. Poor @JenSchwalbach is the patient recipient of loads of green-induce nuts, but the good thing? She's the only one I turn to for my base, inhuman needs. So in that way, weed fortifies my fidelity to my wife.

Look, I'll come up with ANY reason to defend my ganja. Don't try to take it away from me...
 
#836720 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 18:21:16
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Scratch that. New favorite part:

Quote
When I was 18/19, I was limber and adventurous enough to go where no man has gone before. I laid on my bed, threw my thunder thighs back over my head and sank that shit neck deep betwixt my lips, furiously jerking like a mad man. I remember thinking "If I break my neck here, I hope in the midst of their horror and grief, my parents are just a little bit proud, too..."

When I nutted, my thoughts shifted to "I guess I'm clearly gay - because I feel awkward as fuck right now..." clearly repulsed, mind you: It just wasn't for me.

But just to sure, I tried it again. Two more times.

Alright: Five.

It always seemed like a good idea until I came. After that, my gut drooping on my forehead, the previously sex-nuts libido-beast playing Hyde-the-salami would give way to the more practical, less adventurous and utterly honest Dr. Jekyll. Suddenly, the horned-up human pretzel who nearly snapped a spine getting his cock into his own mouth would find himself thinking "I look like Jabba the Hutt eating his own tail..."

I wouldn't recommend it this exercise is spoo-tility to every guy, as there's a good chance you'll break your neck and die in pursuit of an orgasm - which is stupid.

And as for why I'd ever wanna share that information...

How many people do YOU know who've ever successfully sucked their own dicks? Fuck an Oscar: THAT'S a goddamned accomplishment! It's like walking on the moon! And giant steps are what you take, self-sucking 'til you splooge.

I hope my neck don't break - self-sucking 'til I splooge.

I can't suck for-ev-er - self-sucking 'til I splooge.

We can suck to-ge-ther - self-sucking 'til, self-sucking 'til we splooge.

Some.

May say...

ahem

This moment of truth sponsored by Captain Fantastic and S.I.T. - SModCo Internet Television! http://www.youtube.com/seesmod
 
#836722 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 18:25:11
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ummm
 
#836723 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 18:27:27
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cool story
 
#836724 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 18:41:38
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Been listening to his podcasts with that guy, and the ones with jay, jay and bob get old, some are pretty funny, seems like hes stoned 24/7
 
#836731 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 19:35:38
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who
 
#836738 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 21:09:33
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Quote (hippie @ Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 20:35:38)
who


This guy who made Mallrats.
 
#836751 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 21:33:57
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Quote (sardoniclysane @ Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 21:09:33)
Quote (hippie @ Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 20:35:38)
who


This guy who made Mallrats.


And that travesty Jersey Girl.
 
#836771 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 22:47:17
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So how many people (who arnt black) knew what was up in this toilet without googling it?
 
#836779 | Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 23:25:10
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Quote (xstakemx @ Tue - Jun 12 2012 - 19:47:17)
So how many people (who arnt black) knew what was up in this toilet without googling it?


i know who he is
i watched clercs
 
#836789 | Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 02:28:37
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some of us aren't completely lost in the middle of the woods
 
#836802 | Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 10:49:55
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Quote (lobb @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 03:28:37)
some of us aren't completely lost in the middle of the woods


unless you're also high
 
#836803 | Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 10:52:47
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moral of this story is smoke weed and suck dick FUCK YEAH
 
#836805 | Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 11:22:31
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Quote (hippie @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 10:52:47)
moral of this story is smoke weed and suck your own dick FUCK YEAH


 
#836806 | Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 12:40:05
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the guy who made red state
 
#836820 | Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 16:35:21
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Quote (lobb @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 02:28:37)
some of us aren't completely lost in the middle of the woods


 
#836827 | Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 19:09:00
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Quote (cardoors32 @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 12:40:05)
the guy who made red state


didnt realize he made that. cool.
 
#836836 | Thu - Jun 14 2012 - 09:15:01
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Quote (Mushroomz @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 20:09:00)
Quote (cardoors32 @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 12:40:05)
the guy who made red state


didnt realize he made that. cool.


it was a little different from his typical crazy stoner shenanigans movies
 
#836863 | Thu - Jun 14 2012 - 17:31:57
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Quote (cardoors32 @ Thu - Jun 14 2012 - 10:15:01)
Quote (Mushroomz @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 20:09:00)
Quote (cardoors32 @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 12:40:05)
the guy who made red state


didnt realize he made that. cool.


it was a little different from his typical crazy stoner shenanigans movies


comic book stoner geek

no wonder i don't know this guy
 
#836986 | Sat - Jun 16 2012 - 13:24:40
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Quote (hippie @ Thu - Jun 14 2012 - 17:31:57)
Quote (cardoors32 @ Thu - Jun 14 2012 - 10:15:01)
Quote (Mushroomz @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 20:09:00)
Quote (cardoors32 @ Wed - Jun 13 2012 - 12:40:05)
the guy who made red state


didnt realize he made that. cool.


it was a little different from his typical crazy stoner shenanigans movies


comic book stoner geek

no wonder i don't know this guy


seems right up your ally.
 
#837004 | Sat - Jun 16 2012 - 18:15:34
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weed
 
#837049 | Sun - Jun 17 2012 - 11:41:57
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Quote (Sgull @ Sat - Jun 16 2012 - 19:15:34)
weed


*medicinal Mary Jane.
 
#837050 | Sun - Jun 17 2012 - 11:42:11
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Quote (sardoniclysane @ Sun - Jun 17 2012 - 12:41:57)
Quote (Sgull @ Sat - Jun 16 2012 - 19:15:34)
weed


*medicinal Mary Jane.


One last dance with Mary Jane.
One more time to kill the pain.
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