Ok Well I've already typed this twice, excited browser for some smart reason.

I would like to start this off, telling you I do not want sympathy, I do not want attention, I just need to share this, i need opinions, and really i kind of need support.


So Tomorrow is my birthday, and yesturday was my 15 month anniversary with my girlfriend. And I don't know how many people are in love in these forums, but I am, regardless of what she did I will not forgive her for the longest time, and trusting her will be very hard.

My girlfriend and I have been through a rough patch in our relationship, but it was just a speed bump. We have been arguing lately, she has been stressed out and I have been busy trying to cheer her up, but she would not accept my effection and my simple tries to cheer her up, i would become upset which in the long run made her upset.


so on saturday, our plan was to hang out, and from the beginning she was acting weird, and it hurt me to know something was up and she wasn't telling me.

So pretty much all day we hung out, and we had a few arguments, but nice simple ones, and after trying so hard to find out what was going on, she wasn't going to tell me so i did something Im proud of doing, but it was a little disrespectful and i realize this. I checked her cell phone for texts.. Why? Because all day she hung onto that thing like no other.. which is strange for her, and she was texting her best friend and wouldn't let me see what she was texting, which is also weird.

So i get up, go into her robe and check her phone, the next quote made me want to just die.. it was horrible feeling, for anyone whos in love and who has a girl they want to spend a lifetime with, picture yourself in my shoes, and see if you could handle this.. And before i get to it, my girlfriend isn't the type of person to do this, she really isn't. She hates one of my friends because he does this and has done it in the past. Heres what I read " NO, I don't think your a slut, but next time you have to talk to dan before you hang out with mike and cheat on him again "

Ya.. it felt like my heart was ripped out and stomped on, and I told her that. It's so much harder for me, because im the guy who falls for a girl, he falls hard. I would do anything to go back in time, anything at all.. I would do anything to make this disapear. This was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I love this girl so much .

So now that i confront her, she told me everything, and this makes it so much worse then it might sound, but it hurts me 10x more.

he has been phoning her for a few weeks now, talking for half an hour, to an hour about just simple stuff which i guess got this started, she didn't tell me this until last night.
on friday, he called and asked for her to hang out, and to my surprise she said yes, she told me she was going to a friends house, going to the mall, to shop for MY BIRTHDAY Gift, and then go from the mall to "this guys" house. Honeslty how bad can your concious be if you can buy a really nice gift for your boyfriend, then go str8 to some guys house.

They watched a movie, and made out a few times. It hurts so much guys, sorry to be all sensitive on you, i don't know how many have been through this but i really have alot of love for this girl, i had so much respect for her, and i trusted her so much.

So when I called her that night ( friday ) she wasn't at her friends like she said she was, she wasn't trying to get to sleep, she was at his house till late that night.

Now, I decided that she really is sorry, and she really did make a mistake, she knows it. She has proven to me, and told me she wants a second chance, she will not be forgiven for a long long time, she will not be trusted for a long time. But i cant lose this girl.. its difficult, many people have said just leave her, i can't. Many people have said a second chance, I want to.

Again, please only educated comments, I don't want flaming, I will have a mod/JM see if he can warn for immature comments.

She is my life, truly im not over exagerating.. I've cried so long when i found this out, im part of her family, and shes part of mine.

I'm so dissapointed in her, i really expected more from this girl, shes not like your average girl, she wasn't brought up to do this, she does love me, she really does.

This is the worst weekend of my life, and probably the worst bday feelings, She was grounded last year on my bday, so i asked her to come 2morro along with me because i want her there.

Just had to vent guys, had to let people know

heart.gif I hope i made a good decision