Gone 16 hours without spamming... I feel dirty

take a shower

I would also like to bring a subject to light that for the first time in my life made me actually feel like a redneck

what did you do

This weekend was my mothers birthday and I gave her such a hillbilly gift that she got so excited about that 2 days later she is still thanking me for...

stuffed beaver?

Camo pellet gun to shoot chipmunks and other pesky rodents

what did you get her adamz

LOL

Growing up my parents gave me a $5 bounty for every red squirrel and chipmunk that I killed. Because the little fuckers ripped shit up all over the yard. Since I have not lived with said parents for 9 years now my mother has henceforth become the headshot master

hahaha atom
hilarious

sounds like a headshots abilitys are in yours genes

does she thank them for standing still

LOL

when i start hearing my mother refer to people/varmints as wankers or hearing her say GOD SAVE THE QUEEN then i will start showing cause for concern

plant the seed sir

Bumping this cuz my mom text me today asking if I wanted to take the beasts over to their place on Sunday to "try out her gun and shoot at soda cans"

I'm too busy with the double facepalm to even respond

Ofc you are going, soda cans and stuff.

hey adam
hows the wedding plans going???!!1

i.e. did you pick out what glossy font you want to use for the invitations?
will you have ribbons on the cards?
have you done the invitations list?

and the real question
are you going to get any of your groomsmen laid by the bridesmaids?

listen, it's smartass comments like this I don't appreciate

I realize you don't usually go for younger woman unless they are Asian and prepubescent but if you could think outside the box and spend an evening with my grandmother and show her a good time :chapstick style: i'm sure we all wouldbe in a better mood

thats no way to speak on the eve on the most beautiful night of you young life. just imagine how special you will feel standing in front of all 74 people from you village that attend your wedding (who will all probably put on their nice hunting clothers, maybe even the clean orange hats). imagine the joy when the village gathers around the pig roast during the reception. or how magical your night will be being allowed to use your grandmothers bed for your wedding night, not having to sleep on the pull out couch with all 7 of your cousins. who oddly all resemble your father.

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blind_chief*, xstakemx*

lunch in 3 minutes
hurry m8

im sorry

I don't know if I should be laughing or pissed off that I didn't pay more attention to the beast when she said she was talking to a wedding planner...ihad no idea you were the planner

lol
id be happy to shoot her some ideas m8

ones im sure you would just love

that was the most red neck statement i've ever heard

I'd be all for that if the ideas were strictly regarding the wedding night and involved the usage of bacon/turkey bastors/camo

turkey basters with bacon grease
im thinking if you took a video camera you would be an internet sensation

I'm gonna have to rethink the beverage situation at the reception... As much as it pains me to think about it, I might have to sacrifice the nitro tanks and Guinness in order to get more female drinks to swoon the beast into voyeurism

peach schnapps always worked with my mom

I don't want to know why you know the secrets of getting your mom in the sack...if it makes you happy thats cool but fuck dude...

i try to not think about the blood relationship