didnt feel the need to make an agenda about it
sitting here so envious of my journey, enjoying my newly found powers

my 4th favorite word is sodomy

i don't have a 4th favorite word, i'm clearly some uptight hipster nancy-boy like mr. bacon

What part of NYC? It's a pretty big place.

oh are you new?

If i catch you in the city, im so fucking robbing your ass.

don't know where you'll be heading but here's food you have to eat:

grimaldi's - under the brooklyn bridge - if you eat pizza in ny and you don't have it there, you're an asshole
2nd ave deli - go there! it's actually on 33rd though / a close second for me would be Katz's, but it's a little touristy

if you want any specific suggestion for a type of food, i have a couple of foodie friends scattered in the city.
also a lot of places are cash only

sorry, also the burger joint at le parker meridien hotel. it's a faux dive burger pub. cheap and delicious

or since you have rich parents go have the most expensive lunch in NYC at serendipity 3. The $300 burger with diamond tooth picks and the $1000 sundae with edible gold. call now though, you need 48 hours notice

If you go to grimaldi's, i'm fucking robbing your ass. If you go anywhere near Katz's, you have a 50/50 chance of me robbing your ass. Black Shack on 37th and Lex is also good and I won't rob you there.

Also check out Shake Shack in Madison Sq. Park. Amazing burgers, fucking amazing. I won't rob you there either.

Avoid Brooklyn though, because I will spot you and I will fucking rob you.

Places you're allowed to go in Brooklyn: Williamsburg, the first 3 blocks of bushwick right off of myrtle in any direction.

Places you're clearly allowed to go in Brooklyn: Every where else.

Places where I think it would be hilarious to see you: East NY, Crown Heights, Canarsie.

This poop has been edited by seth on Thu - Jul 26 2012 - 14:52:39

This post has been edited by seth on Thu - Jul 26 2012 - 14:53:14

crown heights isn't that bad

You must've been in the Jew section.

Fun fact: All those Jew's sell Ecstasy. clearly even fucking lying.

if i went to brooklyn id rob everyone there and take over the city

for cereal though, check out the Intrepid on the WSH. They just got the space shuttle Discovery in there. pfuckin awesome.

if you went to Brooklyn, you'd take a bunch of cocaine with you and become rich in like 2 days.

BE SURE 2 VIZIT DA APPLE STORE L0L0L!

OMG N GO 2 SOHO AND GET SOME R4D SK8 SHOEZ!

Take the A train and get off at 181st street. I'll be the dude laughing on the corner while you're getting gang raped.

i love robbing drug dealers

difference between being rich and being hood rich

If you're looking for music, check out BAM or the Brooklyn Bowl (the latter is my favorite venue in NYC aside from the Beacon Theatre). Brooklyn Bowl is also located right next to two of the following awesome places: The Brooklyn Brewery, and KCDC (awesome skate shop). You may need some mace though so you can spray the hipsters instragraming every single fucking thing they see.

hood rich is good enough for me. i just need scrilla.

Spanish Harlem has some great authentic Dominican food for insanely cheap. Just go there during the daytime (like noon-4)

This coming Monday (if you are in NYC by then), Public Enemy & Salt N Pepa are playing in Crown Heights at the Wingate for free. Should be a good show, I suggest you check it out.

Stay away from Midtown unless you like being pushed around by business folk. Remember that while you're in NYC, you need to KEEP FUCKING WALKING AND clearly TAKE UP THE WHOLE GODDAMN SIDEWALK WITH YOUR STUPID TOURIST FAMILY. We know it's fun to be on Vacation, but motherfucking single file son.

Beware of taking cabs. They will take the longest route possible if they sense you're an out of towner. You got an Iphone? Use that shit and tell the cabbie what's what. Also, cabs hate pedestrians...and everyone else for that matter.

If you see someone riding a fixed gear bicycle and they happen to have the following: 1. A stupid fucking moustache. 2. A pair of stupid fucking glasses 3. Tight short pan­ties. 4. All of the above, proceed to take a stick of some sort and at the precise moment, jam that shit in their spokes so they get hurt and you get a good laugh.

Don't use semi-colons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites and only prove that you went to college.

did i still "go to college" if i only sold cocaine there and never went to class?

Um, yeah? I thought that was the point of college.

Don't give panhandlers ANYTHING.

For the love of God, don't visit ground zero or the freedom tower. Only proves how gay you really are.

Unless you've lost loved ones and want to pay your respects.

If you're clearly 21 and don't have any friends in the city, it's gonna be pretty fuckin' boring for ya. Alleviate yourself by visiting: The Natural History Museum, MoMA (i would try to go when it's free), the Brooklyn Museum (they just had a really interesting exhibit on Keith Haring). The MMoA (The Met) is also awesome.

Don't go slack jawed every time you see a hot girl, there are millions of them in the city. Okay, maybe like 200,000 but that's pretty good.

This post has been edited by seth on Thu - Jul 26 2012 - 16:37:51

i didnt learn how to use semi-colons though, only stuck my semi-erect penis into girls' colons

If you want real chinese food, eat in chinatown.

Don't rock the boat, baby.

Battery Park is a really nice walk on a sunny day.

If you happen to walk through Union Square, don't get in the way of the skaters. They will run into you on purpose. clearly joking.

The Q is the best train to take in the city if you're trying to go a far distance in the shortest amount of time (vertically). The L is the 2nd best train to take in the city if you're trying to go a far distance in the shortest amount of time (horizontally).

You're gonna need this:

seth took some adderal today didnt he

quoting quality kurt vonnegut quote

though he did use a semi colon in cat's cradle

thanks for quality infos though

will only have 1 day in the actual city, spending the rest of the time in cold springs about an hour and a half north

i use semicolons every goddamn day college or clearly; semi-colons got swag to em