Obama wakes up one night, there is George Washington's ghost! He says, " George how can I help this country?"
Washington replies, "Be honest with the people like I was!"
Obama goes back to sleep and awakes again. This time its' Thomas Jefferson's ghost! He says "Tom how can I help this country?"
Jefferson says, "Love the constitution like I did!"
Waking up again there is Abe Lincoln's ghost, he says "Abe how can I help this country?"
Abe replies, "Go see a play."

A man drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-70, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.

CONDOM HISTORY
Interesting piece of history!

In 1272, the Arabic Islamic Muslims invented
the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea
by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

Don't thank me, I do this as a public service
for the advancement of Education.

ive heard this one, is a good one

why did the baseball player get arrested?
he stole second base

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